Questions: 

1) Hari Raya is associated with forgiveness, renewal, and strengthening connections. From the RSI principles and ORSC learning, is there one that you find yourself returning to or moving to during this period? How does it shape the way you approach moments that call for repair, reconnection or forgiveness/healing?

2) In the different roles you hold at home — e.g. parent, child, husband/wife/partner— is there one/more ORSC or RSI-inspired practice that helps you or you forsee helping your during this time? 

An ORSC Reflection: Motherhood, Leadership & Raya

Atiqah Halim

In both my roles as a mother and a Head of Department, I’ve realised I naturally lead from one core principle in ORSC (Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching) — that the relationship, or system, is the client.

I don’t just see individuals — I see patterns.

At home, it’s noticing how one child’s mood can shift the whole household, especially in the lead-up to Hari Raya Aidilfitri — when emotions, excitement, and fatigue all come together. Even a simple “OK” from my child sometimes means, “I don’t feel like talking.”

During Raya visits, meeting relatives we don’t often see, I find myself picking up on energy — who seems quieter than usual, who is overcompensating, what’s left unsaid. Sometimes, it’s in the gentle questions or the pauses we hold that open up something more real.

At work, it’s sensing the room — who’s speaking, who’s holding back, and how a few strong voices can unintentionally silence others. I step in not to fix people, but to rebalance the dynamic.

I move constantly between roles — mother, boss, listener, decision-maker. One moment I’m managing Raya preparations, the next I’m holding space for someone who simply needs to be heard.

But this reflection surfaced a growth edge: deep democracy — making space for every voice.

Because I’m wired to move things forward, I can sometimes move too quickly:

• Finishing my child’s sentence

• Wrapping up a meeting before everyone has spoken

So I’m learning to pause.

To ask:

• “What do you really think?”

• “Whose voice is missing?”

This Raya, beyond seeking forgiveness and strengthening ties, I’m reminded of this ORSC truth: when every voice is heard, the relationship heals, and the system becomes stronger.

Selamat Hari Raya — may we not only reconnect, but truly listen.

Farhann Ali

My go to RSI principle is “Each Relationship System has its own unique identity or personality”. This gives recognition and respect to the relationship which is unique to a system. When we give the recognition and respect, space is created for range and variety; not just conformity. Space is created for openness and connection; not just engagement. This presents opportunities for repair, forgiveness and healing.

“Relationship systems rely on roles for their organization and execution of functions” – This RSI principle comes to mind. Our family visits my parents on the first day of Hari Raya. And the time of visit is aligned with the time everyone normally goes to visit my parents. This becomes an expended social event. Goal – We all enjoy ourselves! My primary role becomes that of the son. And with the help of family, amongst the warmth lightness and laughter the event brings, we make sure that there is always food drinks for everyone. People are comfortable and unique needs are met. The kitchen is abuzz with activity while the entire home is a cauldron of energetic connection. Tiring fun and fulfilling; with the occasional splash of angst 😉. Seeing the joy in my parents from the role of the son – Worth it.