Voices of Community: Featuring Jia Yi Lim
From your learnings with Elf & ORSC/ Relationship Systems Intelligence, in Chinese New Year often brings together multiple generations and diverse personalities. From your learnings with ELF & ORSC/ Relationship Systems Intelligence, in what ways have you shifted in navigating reunion dinners, traditions, or tricky situations. You may also take into consideration systems awareness and metaskills.
For me, integrating ORSC principles has transformed Chinese New Year from a season of ‘social endurance’ into a practice of intentional connection.
This year, I am focusing on Designing the Alliance with my family before we even step out the door. Instead of just showing up, we’re asking ourselves: ‘Who do we want to be for each other when the environment gets loud or the questions get intrusive?’ We’ve co-created ‘family cues’—subtle signals that allow us to support one another when someone needs a time-out or when it’s time to exit gracefully. It’s about honoring the system’s needs as much as the individual’s.
I’m also leaning into the Deep Democracy of the generations. Rather than listening to respond (or defend), I’m trying to listen to the ‘intelligence’ of the system—valuing the stories of our elders and the perspectives of the young. By seeing the family as an evolving entity with its own wisdom, I can move through the festivities with more curiosity and less judgment.
In your view, what are 1 to 3 meaningful ways to honour Chinese New Year that deepen connection within families, partnerships or workplaces?
Three meaningful ways I’m honoring the season:
The Pre-Gathering Alliance: Aligning with my partner/children on how we’ll support each other’s boundaries.
Meta-skills of Compassion & Play: Bringing a lighter, more playful energy to ‘tricky’ conversations to diffuse tension.
Honoring the ‘Voice of the System’: Recognizing that every tradition and every relative—no matter how challenging—is a part of the tapestry that made us who we are today.
